this is the wooden kites blog.

hi

2009-06-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

well,
like a tornado through a hospital, this band broke the fuck up.

it was fun. see yah soon.

-b

it just goes and goes and goes...

2009-05-01T02:47:00.000-07:00

Stuff thats kind of neat:

1) We've been nominated by the RFT for best Untraditional Americana/Folk Band. If someone can explain to me what this category means, you officially win the award. But for real, its nice to be nominated.

2) We actually are going to record a new record in August. We're arranging plans right now to go up north to a very rad studio. When we get all the details worked out, we'll let ya know.

3) None of us have contracted the swine flu... yet.

4) Our new 5 piece lineup is totally rippin' and extremely loud.

5) CAWKAW!! (the Center for the Advance of Wooden Kites' Awesome Wizardry!!) is now taking applications for summer internships.

Qualified Applicants will be:

-Skilled in General Carpentry

-Proficient in Powerpoint

-Have an Outgoing Personality

-Be a Rad Wizard

-Have Phone Ettiquette

-Special Consideration will be given to candidates who can do this...

Love,
Dave

Let's Give'em Sumtin' To Talk About (How About a new album?)

2009-03-06T16:33:00.001-08:00

We've been busy. Between our other obligations, we been playing shows, writing songs for a new album, moving Dave over to guitar, and training our awesome new bass player. Yeah, Dave's moving from bass to guitar. Simply put, Dave Todd a shredder and needs to be shredding. He's been suffering from a severe shred deficiency syndrome known as Pussacitis. We rescued him by brining in Justin Haltmar (The Disappeared, Calico System) to play bass. We've been rehearsing with this lineup and I gotta say we've never sounded better. We've also been awesome in many other ways...

So we will debut our new lineup and some new songs on this show:

Besides this, we've been working hard (hardly) on a new album that will be recorded sometime this year. The past few weeks we've been demo-ing out our songs at the beloved Shine Studio. We love Peter and he REALLY helped us get our heads on straight with how we want this new album to sound. Here's a few video clips of the session:

First, here's Dave doing his best Dr. Phil:

and here we are discussing different "effects":

We might post a demo or two on our myspace page. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?

We're expecting to go into the studio sometime over the summer and hopefully release it before the year is over....of course, this all could be wishful thinking.

suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee freeze,
Chris

#16 Club Lulu please

2009-02-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

when we started this little blog of ours, we figured we would just talk about recording, while we were recording records, then it turned into us just talking about random things because we didnt record as much as we thought we were going to this past year, but we did end up recording a bunch, and when we did record, we didnt even blog about or take pictures or even mention it. well, were recording on February 22nd at Shine Studio and we are sure as hell going to talk about it. ill start right now.

were going in to record all of our spankin new songs at shine, then were going to mix, master, listen,change things, make things prettier, make things uglier, and go in some other time to do it all over again, then do the same thing we did to the first one, then go to a different studio at the end of the summer to record a full length album of 100% awesomly finished songs. see how that works?

also we have some really exciting news to share, but i dont want to blow my boosh juice just yet, so ill wait until the appropriate time to share said news.

with all that said, expect more exciting blogs pretty damn soon.
-b

banana dancers unite!

2009-01-08T07:15:00.000-08:00

hey yaaaaaaall,
first off, happy new year. havn't posted in a while. its not because were too busy or anything, its because were lazy and we forgot all about our poor defensless blog. but, we plan to nurse it back to health here in 09', so expect more updates. plus, hey, we actually got some cool stuff coming up, so were going to talk about all that.

what have we been up to as of late? well, we've been working hard on new songs, working hard on tweaking older new songs, and working hard on being awesome dudes. we plan on putting all of these new songs together and then releasing them on a compact disc. were looking at recording it somwhere, sometime, this spring. were pretty stoked about recording. we also got that 7" split coming out sometime this year. we dont know when. but when we do, you will too.

were also going to hit the road a bit more this year, because apparently, bands tour. who wouldve thunk it? we got a small one in the works for march, and some general ideas for more longer stints this spring and summer. should be fun.

allright, see yah,
b

2008-11-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,
so we've been doing nothing but practicing new songs for the past month and its going really, really well. I think its safe to say that we are all overly fucking excited about these songs, i know I am. Our next show is December 6th, and, as of today, it is our last show before 2009 is shat into our laps. But dont worry, we have lots and lots of great things planned for 09. new things like, a new record, a new 7" split, some merch, and tours tours tours. But, until then, i have a solo show:

I'm really excited about this show. I'm going to play, pretty much all new songs. So, if you're in the mood to watched me stumble through some songs while i try not to throw up whiskey and weed, come on down!

oh, and am I the only one excited about this show? because, well, I am. I mean, bears for neighbors? get outta here!

Ok, go enjoy the nice weather.

-brian

the internetz is weird

2008-10-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since we've updated this blog (obviously) so i thought i'd update it today. Nothing too exciting going on here at CAW KAW, but some things are in motion.

-We recently recorded four new songs, and a couple of older ones over there at Washington University for the ThunderGarments radio show. It was an interesting recording session, then it was a fun radio show. it was, to say the least, heartbreaking. i know Dave will never be the same.

-A Very Bert Dax Halloween comp release show is this saturday.

-we've been working on lots of new songs, and putting most of the old ones into their graves.

so things are going good.

ttyl!! lolzzz
-brian

zombies dont like tacos

2008-09-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

hey,
remember that "secret" recording we had a while ago? well, it aint no secret no mo'. Matt Harnish is once again changing to world with a brand new release! A Very Bert Dax Halloween 10" is coming out October 25th! And we recorded a song called "The Body of Julia Asner" for it. and a lot of other great (St. Louis) bands recorded halloween songs too. bands like Mustard Rob, BadFolk, Thats My Daughter, BunnyGrunt, Sex Robots and the Rum Drum Ramblers. there are more, but some are still secrets, so we wont know who the other bands are for a while. unless we already were told, and we just forgot. which is possible.

anyway, to celebrate, were playing a halloween show for the release. it is Friday, October 25th @ the Wayout Club in St. Louis, with The Sex Robots and Thats My Daughter. So, come dressed in your best halloween attire, and drink some cheap drinks, and have some fun.

we have a couple of shows next week, so , you know, go to those. if you want.

also, dont forget to name that tune!

brian

?swen

2008-08-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

hi,
So, since we got back from tour, not too much has happened really. were all trying to work a bit more than usual to make up for all the money we wasted on beer and food on the tour. Tim just left a few days ago to go on a cruise half way across the world, so we wont be seeing him for a couple of weeks. but, there are a lot of new songs that were going to start working on when he gets back, which of course means one thing: a new record. when you say? well, someday. i dont know when. but hey, at least were trying.

And dont forget about that pesky "A Very Bert Dax Halloween Vol. 1" comp 10" that is coming out on October 25th. were on it, and so are a bunch of other great bands. and i do mean great bands. it one of the best things weve been a part of.

we have a few shows in september that were really excited about.

maybe i should get my guitars fixed before then........

....meh.

-brian

tour #1

2008-08-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

so, tour was great. im not going bore you with every little detail or anything, so ill just say, we met some great people and played some of the funnest shows weve ever played. i cant wait to go out again. i wish it was 9 months instead of 9 days. ah well...

now that were back into the swing of work, weed and woman, were ready to write some new songs. new songs are fun. new songs are your friends.

we took a shitload of pictures, and ill upload those in the next couple of days.

ok bye,
brian

title: title: title: title:

2008-07-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

so we start our little 9 day tour of fun and frolick this thursday and were pretty excited. like most bands, were probably going to blog it up during those 9 days and write stuff here. (i just bit my lip. now its bleeding. ahhh, theres nothing better then the taste of orbit citrusmint gum and blood in the morning.)

this weekend we recorded our secret track (is it really a secret anymore?) at penny studio and had a great ole' time. after that, we spent the rest of the day sneaking our way onto bunnygrunt and thats my daughter's songs.

were playing thursday at mangias with SHERIFF BOOSH and its going to be alot of fun. and its free. so come out and play.

-brian

in yo face brian...

2008-07-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

I beat you to the blogger punch, on this one.

In the "geez, what next" news department. Chris is back in the band. Details? Sorry brah... we ain't spillin dem beans. Nonetheless, we couldn't be happier.

In the world of "DUDE!!! Thats AWESOME!!!" This guy came into Chris' work on Saturday. Just when you thought things couldn't get any better.

Now lets check in with "stuff we've been talking about for a while now." This past weekend we recorded our song for our split 7" with these dudes. Perhaps as a primer for this one, we should just say its by far the most "studio oriented" song we've ever made. Anyway, Jason Hutto bodyslammed this recording. Seriously, dude's got it goin on. We love how it sounds. We can't wait for you to hear it. This also coincides with the first official Wooden Kites contest, brought to you by the Center for the Advancement of Wooden Kites' Awesome Wizardry (or better known as CAW-KAW). More details about this pretty soon.

CAW-KAW!!!!!!

-Dave

kdhx, bloggin, secrets

2008-07-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

hey,
how you doing? good? feelin good? well good. If you live in St. Louis, and have a radio or the internet, you can listen to the interview that me and dave did for kdhx at the following times:

Wed - 1am, 3pm, 11pm
Thurs - 7am, 9am, 3pm
Fri - 5am, 11am
Sat - 9am, 3pm, 7pm
Sun - 8am, 10am, 2pm, 3pm

so we played a show on saturday at the taproom here in st. louis and someone was nice enough to review it. here it is hot off the presses from the STL Sound blog:

"Wooden Kites played next and warned all our eardrums of impending noise. Aw, OK. These guys had a bit of a rough night. Brian's mic kept mysteriously deciding to not work, then work again without any discernible reasoning. The guys kept pounding out the sound though--kudos to them. The guys all helped out by yelling the lyrics when the mic went out. It was a team effort. Even with these problems, the WK were bushels of fun! They play mostly upbeat, fast-moving songs that one could bop around to if so-inclined. It's a little country, a little rock, a little keyboard...but totally rock-out good. The guys put on an energetic live show, and they have catchy, loud music. I danced, I won't lie. I can't help myself, usually. I hope to see the WK again, soon, and I'll bring friends (their next show is July 4 at the Way Out Club, so be take your jello-molds and bbq and go see them). They have that kind of music that I find it difficult to resist because it is fun -- it doesn't take itself too seriously, it moves, it isn't pretentious. I hope they stick around. I bought their new album, the Orchard, and put it in as soon as I got in my car, so that was a plus. And I'll give it a review posthaste after a few more listens. So congrats guys--they've gotten a lot of good press recently, and it's well deserved."

In other Wooden Kites news, our song for our split with Queef Quota is going to be recorded in a couple of weeks. We like it. It is a weird song. at least, I think it is a weird song. Were also working on a secret song for a secret project, and that is going well. (thats right. We here at the wooden kites offices love secrets. like one time, i secretly punched dave in the face while he was taking a catnap. he never knew....thats why it is a secret.)

Chris' last show ever is this friday. It wll be a sad time, but a fun time. So come out, give chris a farewell spankin', and have some fun. i mean, the livers are playing too. what more could you want?

-brian

tour, van-ball, mario galaxy

2008-06-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

As you know, Chris Schott has quit the wooden kites brigade. (if you didnt know that, scroll down) We are all bummed, BUT, we have our first tour, as of this morning, completely booked. Its not a huge tour, but it'll be fun. were very excited to meet some new folks, make some new memories, and try and figure out who has the best arm in van-ball.

here are the dates:

7/31 @ Mangia’s in St. Louis, MO
8/1 @ The Blue Fugue in Columbia, MO
8/2 @ The Missouri House in Springfield, MO
8/3 @ The Internet Café in Evansville, IN
8/4 @ The Coup in Clarksville, TN
8/5 @ Loudhouse Coffee in Greenbrier, TN
8/6 @ JJ’s Bohemia in Chattanooga, TN
8/7 @ The Double Down in Raleigh, NC
8/8 @ The Spazzatorium Galleria in Greensville, NC
8/9 @ Spillage Home for Wayward Youth in Athens, GA

tonight, Dave and I are going to be talking with Matt Brinkmann from kdhx about the new record and stuff. I dont know exactly when, or if, it will air, or whats going on with it, but when i find out, ill probably write about it here.

on a side note, mario galaxy is going to make me lose all contact with the outside world.
-brian

A little bad news, a little good news, a little story...

2008-06-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

So everyone probably knows Chris is quitting Wooden Kites. As said before, it sucks and we're gonna miss having him in the basement, and in the van and all that stuff. Que sera sera...

But, Chris has been nice to help us out with our remaining local shows and the new recordings we're doing over the next few weeks.On July 12 and 13 we'll be recording our song for the split 7 inch w/ Quief Quota here with one Jason Hutto twirling the knobs and whatnot. We're pretty excited (plus we'll get to have "recording" oriented blogs once more). On July 26 or 27 we'll be returning to the same studio to record a mystery song for a mystery comp that will be coming out in the fall.

Last weekend, we played a slightly ill-conceived "festival" in Collinsville, IL (which always has a warm spot in my heart). At which we labored through a short and fun, but incredibly sweaty set. Afterwards we did the average load out procedure, leaving gear in seperate piles within a near proximity to the Wooden Kites van. While i wasn't paying attention, a local C-ville drunk takes off with my synthesizer. Luckily eye witnesses saw the perpetrator steal it (vigilante justice is not popular on the east side, apparently). The Collinsville PD were eventually called and to my utter surprize they tracked down the thief and my synth within an hour (apparently he had passed out behind a truck about 2 blocks from the scene of the crime). I will never utter "fuck tha police" again.

Anyway, things are hectic around here for now, and thats the way we like it.

-Dave

pop! zam! zoom!

2008-06-11T06:54:00.001-07:00

well, the record is done. the record is out and about making friends, and making enemies. thanks to EVERYONE who came to the orchard release show on friday, we honestly had one of the funnest times ever. it was a show that i'll never forget. now that the record is done, were going to do what most bands do: tour. we hit the road on july 31st heading through the beautiful midwest and south a bit (the dates are to your right.) and we dont come back till august 11th. its not a huge tour, but we figured we take a couple of baby steps before we set up the "ooh my pussy be hurtin' world tour" tour. so, if you live in any of those towns over there and want to watch us, you should come to a show. we like playing shows. shows are fun.

were almost finished writing the track for our split with quief quota and its going well. were trying some new stuff and were going to see how it works out on this song. basically, it kinda sounds like a spaceship crashing into another spaceship during a pep rally for a highschool vollyball game.

also, were getting pretty close to finishing the next record, so were going to start thinking about that soon.

my stomach hurts today. fucking starbucks coffee drink things from the gas station.
-brian

pictures, words, tiredness

2008-06-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

RFT Showcase show 6.1.08
RFT Showcase 6.1.08
some of the c.d.'s
tim cutting booklets
dave shrink wrappin'

we play our c.d. release show this friday. i cant believe its already here. weve been waiting for this show since september. Ryan did such a great job on the artwork, i cant wait for everyone to see it.

-b

words and words

2008-05-29T08:09:00.001-07:00

hey yall,
we got our c.d.'s in last friday and the look great. over the next few days, ill be cutting booklets and stuffing them into the c.d. cases. for those of you who have cut booklets before, you know it is no fun. no fun at all. then, we will shrink wrap them, and try to con people into buying them.

we played last saturday at the bottleworks and it was a great, great time. our next show is this sunday for the RFT MUSIC SHOWCASE. Im really excited about playing this. weve only played outside twice in the last year and a half, so its always fun to have a little change in scenery.

im really tired, so im not going to type anymore.

!!
brian

neat things are happening...

2008-05-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hello errrrbody,

As the world comes upon the release of our debut album, "The Orchard", we wanted to mention some other awesome things that are taking place.
First, Brian and Chris are performing solo sets at The Way Out Club on May 22nd. Also playing is our good friend Jim Walker, also known as BLOOD PONY (best name ever). Brian is also playing a solo set at CBGB's on June 2nd. Chris has written a song about the death of Dale Earnhardt that will tear at your heart strings. Don't miss it.

If you haven't voted yet, and care...The Riverfront Times (St. Louis premiere entertainment publication) has announced their nominees for the St. Louis Music Awards. Our jaws hit the floor when we learned we were up for Best New Artist. You should go vote and support the amazing local music that is being played right here in St. Louis....and if you want...you know..uh, you could vote for us....or The Livers...or anyone, we don't care...just vote. You can do that here: http://www.riverfronttimes.com/polls/musicawards2008/

HOLY SHIT. So we got asked to play the World Porksteak Championships which are being held at The Schafly Bottleworks on May 24th!!! Music, award winning porksteaks...I mean, damn, yo.

The biggest news for us is the release of "The Orchard" on June 6th. We'll be having a release party at Vintage Vinyl in the Delmar Loop. The Old 97's are in town for Twangfest so our performance has gotten pushed back to sometime around 7:30 or 8:00pm I believe, but whatever--there will be free beer supplied by the fine people at Pabst Blue Ribbon and some free energy drinks for you folks who like to stay alert. Our CD will also be on sale! Hell yeah.
It's kind of far off, but we're also playing a birthday party show for one of our favorite people in the world. Bob, proud owner of The Way Out Club, asked us to play his B-day show on July 4th (God Bless 'Merica) with one of our favorite bands The Livers.

Also, it's in the works, but we're planning our first tour in August. More on that later...
Anyway, that's just a couple of reasons we all got boners these days....

Everyone take care,
chris

some things, and some stuff

2008-04-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

well,
the c.d. release show is sneaking up on us. im really excited about all of this. The guy who did the artwork for the album (Ryan Hutt) has done an AMAZING job. everything has been sent off, and now all we have to do is wait.

in other wooden kites news, we are doing a split 7" with a very, very awesome band that will be named later. (if i name them now, Matt Harnish will come to my house and steal my coffee table.) it will be out by the end of the summer. we've got a brand spankin' new song for it, and that too, excites me.

im tired.
-brian

playing shows for girls and boys

2008-04-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

to keep this blog from getting stale and boring, were going to start posting more. a lot of exciting things are coming up, and im pretty sure we will feel the need to express our feelings about those things in blog form. right now though, im going to talk about the show we played last friday.

Friday, April 11th @ Lemmons in St. Louis, Mo.
w/ The Blind Eyes, The Alice Rose, The Fear Alert.

Chris and I showed up at Dennys around 7:30 to meet up with dave and tim to load up the van for the show. We got to Lemmons around 8 or so i think, and brought our stuff in. Ive been to Lemmons before, but have never played there, so i was excited. we found ot we were playing first, which was fine, and started setting our stuff up on the stage. our friend Ryan showed up, (hes the guy who did our artwork) and shot the shit for a bit. then at 9 we started our set. we played a couple of new songs, one of which was brand spankin new, and we barely made it through. the show sounded good, (onstage at least) and it was a lot of fun.

the best part about playing at lemmons is the huge TV that you can watch while you play. luckly for us, the cardinals game was on. i found it very difficult to sing, play guitar, move, and watch the game, so i said fuck it by the end of the set and waited until afterwards. (the cards won by the way.)
after we were done we loaded everything up (except my guitar that i forgot there.) and started drinking more and eating pizza. the rest of the show was good. although i spent most of the night at the bar, the sounds coming from the bands were good. during the last band, me and chris left. on the way home we got pulled over and chris talked to the cop in a country accent.

ok, now looking back on this post, ive decided i will never post about a show unless something really interesting happened. because lets face it, this post is boring, and i apologize. im sure someone will post something better soon, so keep your head up!

-brian

homies be dissin' me

2008-04-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

this is a great site.

lord have mercy!!!!!!

2008-04-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

so i was sitting around today and i thought to myself, "shit. i hav'nt been to the wooden kites blog page in a while. maybe i should update it." so i logged on, and saw that Dave Todd posted two days ago, and covered all the topics i was going to talk about. weeeeell shit. now what should i talk about? hmmm....ill think of something.

ok here we go:

artwork
the artwork, (like dave said) is about to be sent off. it was designed by my good friend Ryan Hutt. He's done a much better job than any of us could do. so thats cool. its nice to have artwork that really suits the record.

these new songs
the new songs are coming along nicely (like Dave said.) i too, am already looking forward to recording the next record. if i had it my way, we would record in the fall. and you know what? that might actually happen. another reason im looking forward to this record, is because its not a concept album like the orchard. its just a bunch of stories. you know how we roll, always a step ahead of the plastic, breakable kites. dont get me wrong. im very proud of "The Orchard", but i think im gonna skip the concepts for this one. for example, one of the new songs is about this girl named anne marie who leaves some guy, takes his money and baby, and then the guy hunts her down to kill her. you know, fun stuff like that.

actually, i just think the album is going to be about schizophrenia. why not? seems fun.

c.d. release show
friday, june 6th is our c.d. release show and let me tell yah, im excited about it. i mean, free beer? shit.

i really have nothing else to talk about that is band related. so ill talk about stuff that is brian related.
-im playing a solo show with cars can be blue from athens, GA, and butt, from St. Louis, MO. its on monday, june 2nd, at CBGB's. the show is free, and im gonna have some friends playin' with me. so that will be fun.
-i got a sweet new guitar. i like it. you like it. we all like it.

we have a show tonight.
im very excited about playing, and eating pizza.

-brian

bad coffee, even worse cigarettes, no sleep til brooklyn... illinois

2008-04-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm smack dab in the middle of a 16 hour shift at work, my mouth tastes like a coffee bean's asshole, and I'm listening to George Harrison's brief resurgence in the eighties. Is there a better time to blog? I don't think so...

Anyway, right now is a pretty exciting time to be a wooden kite. In case you haven't been paying attention...

-The album is going to be sent off for pressing in a few weeks. The artwork looks really good (i honestly don't know the name of the guy who designed, but, kudos to him). This album should LOOK really good, even if you hate our songs or whatever...

-We've been writing new songs over the past few months. And i really think its the best stuff we've done so far (which depending on your opinion of us may not mean a lot). I'm already more focused on a new album than I am on this one.

-We've been nominated for "Best New Artist" in the RFT Music Awards. Its nice to be in on the "VintageVinyLuebirdKDHXerfronttimes" conspiracy.

-We've got some exciting shows coming up (at least to us).

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta,
~Dave

the orchard

2008-02-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

hello,
a few things:
-the artwork is almost done.
-the c.d. release show is friday, june 6th.

more soon.

record/practice

2008-01-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

so this blog was made to let everyone know how the record was coming along, and that was fun. but now, that the actual recording is done, the mixing is done and the mastering is done, theres really nothing else to discuss for the time being BUT, we do have fun bloggin' it up, so for those who read this (peter) weve decided we will write about whatever the fuck we want to write about.

last night was our first practice of this new year, and our first practice in what feels like 2 months. (i think the last time we practiced was early december.) our practice spaces have always been a clusterfuck. heres where we have practiced since we started:

-24 hour storage shed. it was freezing in the winter, and 104 degrees in the summer, but we liked it..sord of. ok, we hated it. it was too far away, and too small. then, when we forgot to pay the monthly fee (three months in a row), we decided not to play there. aka: got locked out.
-dennys basement. it was a good fit. nice size, good P.A., a bathroom. but then, after a few months of playing there., someone decided they had enough and called the cops, so no more denny's. (a few other bands also practiced there.)
-utopia studios. utopia studios is a good place to practice if youre fucked and need a place to play asap. they charge by the hour and they have a bar, some arcade games, and a decent P.A. for every room. it is a really awesome place, but the fact that we have to unload the van, load in, play for two hours, load up, go to dennys, unload, well, thats too much work for us. especially on a monday night when i just want to get home to watch two and a half men and everybody loves raymond. we played there once.
-dennys basement. since more than one band practices there, we needed to find a solution so we could still practice. well, denny and his parents and some friends worked on the basment for two months to soundproof it up. well, not only does it look fancy, but it works. me and tim were playing last night before dave and chris came down and they could barely hear the drums outside. so we now have a place to play.

moving from practice place to practice place is hectic. hopefully, this soundproofing stuff will keep the neighbors from calling the police.

we worked on two new songs last night which should be ready by the show in feb. so, if youre tired of hearing the same songs, well, shut the fuck up. we like playing them. but, since its the day afte valentines day, we will do something special for you, if you do something special for us. (blowjobs)

we love you.
-b

a show/two links/a pointless update

2008-01-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

well,
we have a show coming up, as you can tell from the flyer above. its a while away, but we figured we would take january "off". and by "taking january off", i mean, figure out all the artwork shit, work on some new songs, play guitar hero, etc. etc.

ok, so we dont really have anything to "take off" from, but a lot of bands say their "taking time off" to do things, so, were going to do the same thing. to be honest, were probably going to sit around, accomplish nothing, and celebrate anyway.

but this show is going to be awesome. its def. one of the best shows we've been a part of. we've played with both bands, but never on the same night, so it should be a lot of fun. that's my daughter and miles of wire are both bands who contain friends that we personally know, which always makes the shows 23% funner. and hey, its the day after valentines day. i dont know if that means anything, but yeah. its the day after valentines day. so you might as well bring your significant other to the show. nothing says i love you like seeing three bands on a friday night at the wayout club while bob plays porn from the 70's on the screen. and hey, if youre lucky, chris schott just might take you out back and rape you with a box of chocolates! yay!

-b

mp3/the dark side of peter/2008 plans

2008-01-03T09:40:00.000-08:00

well, we started this little band of ours a year ago. its been a long, weird year. we lost three members, got kicked out of our practice shed (and by kicked out, i mean we stopped paying.), weve had countless troubles with amps, instruments and broken strings at bad times, recorded an album that took 2 months longer than we wanted, and to top it all off, peter raped all of us during recording.

but, we also played a lot of fun shows with some awesome bands. we recorded a full length album at an awesome place, and most importantly, we are much better friends now and have recently stopped using condoms with eachother.

and for those who dont know, we finally put up an mp3 up here. it is one of eleven tracks on 'the orchard'.

everyone is talking about all the plans they have for this year. we have one: to release this album. that is our main focus. it is mastered. it is DONE. the most important part of everything is 100% done. and that, is very exciting, for me at least. now, all we have left to do is the artwork, and thats it. were shooting for a may release. and a show to accompany that release with some of our friends who play instruments too.

i feel that this band is finally where its supposed to be. everyone is on the same page, and its been a lot of fun as of late.
-b

Master of Puppets is pulling my strings

2007-12-31T11:35:00.000-08:00

So we haven't updated this for a while because theres been nothing to report, until now, I heard the final master of our record today. Not to toot our own horn, but it sounds really awesome. Carl Saff has been wasting his holiday season making our band sound good. Kudos to him.

May is probably a good estimate for when this thing will actually come out.

We need money baaaaaaddddd.

Tonight we're playing a show with Quief Quota which is probably my favorite band in St. Louis, containing some of my favorite people in St. Louis. Awesome.

Eat shit 2007.

--Dave

tracklist

2007-11-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

here is the final tracklist:

wooden kites
the orchard

1. our secret in the orchard
2. dirt road
3. suicide weather
4. john oneill's nights run long
5. you and me and the bottle makes three
6. sailin' song
7. nikki avery
8. bumble
9. miranda avery
10. tea and honey
11. the wind

edit: i was reading through all the old posts, and i realized i said "the record is done!" on about 5 of them. well, now its official.

Finally...

2007-11-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

Memory #37463--Brian Potts "plays" a cigar box guitar.

Today, we go in, fill out some final mastering paperwork, bounce down one more track, and be done with this beast of an album. When it was all said and done, 11 songs make up The Orchard.

Shine Studio has a bright future ahead of them and Peter is really doing amazing work out there. We highly recommend getting in touch with this guy.

Memory #29838--Dave Todd jerks off a shaker, has performance issues.

Beyond the album, we got some final shows of the year to wrap up.

November 28th @ 2 Cent Plain with Chico Maciunas and The High 5's. This show is kind of a plethora of sounds, so it should be fun. We've never been to 2 Cent Plain so it will be fun to play a new venue.

December 15th @ The Way Out Club-A VERY BERT DAX XMAS SHOW!

Allow me to explain...

A few months ago, we were approached to record a Christmas song for the newest volume of the St. Louis holiday standard. There have been five Bert Dax Christmas Compilatons now and we're super proud to be on number six. We recorded our original Christmas tune, "A Christmas Song for Jenny" while we were in the midst of tracking for The Orchard. The compilation will be available December 15th at the Xmas show. Also playing are our good friends Chico Maciunas and The 75's, both of which are also on the compilation.

December 25 @ The Way Out--Finally, on Christmas night, Brian Potts (guitar, singer, overall songwriter in Wooden Kites) will be performing his solo stuff at The Way Out. The newest and most amazing band in St. Louis, The Livers, will be bringing their retarded awesome stage show as well. Let me just say this...The Livers REALLY morph into cats while playing. I am not joking. I'm really not.

Ok, until we have something else interesting to say...take care.

-chris

mixing/recording

2007-11-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

after weeks and weeks of recording, the orchard is done. (being recorded/mixed.)

we send it off to get mastered next week.

we will have random pictures and stuff posted this sunday.

tomorrow is thanksgiving. have a good one.

-brian

mixing/mastering/art work/brian getting ghey

2007-11-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

well, mixing is done on this record. and by done, i mean, nearly done. what do we have left to do you ask? well, ill fucking tell yah.

-re record a 12 string guitar part

thats it. yep. we have ONE thing to do. then we send it here to get mastered. and in the mean time, we will begin doing the artwork stuff.

now, weve been "recording" since early september. it has taken a long time because we are stingy assholes and cannot be happy with anything.

youre probably wondering to yourself, "when is this thing going to be ready for purchase/illegal download?" well, the answer to that question is, sometime next year. and by sometime next year, i mean early next year. to be honest, were shooting for february. but then again, our first thought was december, and thats obviously not happening. it may be march. BUT, we will have some mp3's up by the end of the year for sure. so youll at least have a few songs to hear before you rob us behind the wayout club and steal all of our c.d.'s and equiptment.

so recording is pretty much done. peter has done a great job. a really great job. as much as i am sick of going into shine, ill miss the good times weve had. i realized, i actually DO like the people in my band. who woulda thunk it?

more to come.
-brian

a list of important things

2007-11-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

we have to do these things this weekend:

-10 more songs to mix.
-34 seconds of guitars to record.
-3 1/2 minutes of vocals to record.
-1 gallon box of goldfish to eat.
-3,245 cigarettes to smoke.
-56,346,572 beers to drink.
-47 high fives to give.
-1 big, sweaty orgy to organize.

as you can tell by the list of important things, we are almost done with the record! we even have a final tracklist, but im not going to tell you for these reasons:
1. i dont remember it
2. i forgot

also, dont forget, chris schotts birthday is september 25th, 2008, so mark your calenders.

-brian

the aquatic record/no maps

2007-11-07T07:14:00.000-08:00

i used to be in this solo project called the aquatic record. after about 6 months or so, dave and chris were added and became members/lovers. then we broke up a while later. i think the first official show was the summer of 2005. our last show was in december of 2006 at the maplehouse.

anyway, sarah williams made a music video for a song called "no maps" that was recorded for the "maplehood rekkids "will rock for food compilation". i regret everything about this song, due to its lameness. but none the less, sarah did a good job on it, so i thought id share it.

the aquatic record- no maps <-click the link you lazy fool!

were playing a free show this thursday at mangia's. im really looking forward to this show.

were getting closer and closer to finishing this album. november 13th might be the most important day in the studio. (i heard peter is giving us all blowjobs!)
-brian

An Update...kind of

2007-11-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

What's the haps?

I thought I would give a run down of the current status of things. Right now, we're sitting on the first finished mix of the album. There are some really great things about it and some things we want to change and tweak a little. We're going in a few more times to get it the way we want and then it'll be off to Chicago for mastering. In the meantime, we're playing shows to get money for this whole album thing. You know, band stuff...money is always a problem--Unless your these guys.

If you live in St. Louis, you might start seeing some promotional oddities from our end in the near future. We got some weird, awesome stuff in the works to promote the album. Sky-writing a huge dick in the sky signed wooden kites? Just maybe...

A couple of months ago, we got asked by the very kind Matt Harnish from the amazing band Bunnygrunt to be on his "A Very Bert Dax Christmas" compilation. This is the 6th edition of the series and we are super proud to be on it. We recorded a song about dismembering a body and using the parts as decorations and food. Because that's how we roll. Cannibalism and Christmas...hand in hand. It should be out by the time the holiday season gets rollin'. Be sure to play it for your parents and loved ones.

On a different note...this band has been through a shitload of changes in the short time it has existed. The original lineup consisted of six members, two of them female, a whole slew of different instruments and two completely different drummers. It's easy to say this album would have sounded totally different if things were the way they used to be. The addition of saw, different female vocals and most importantly, a radically different drum style would have made for a completely different sound. I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, just different. It's amazing what can happen in one year. But I'm glad we stuck with it, cause the result is a pretty cohesive and tight band. We're down to four dudes who just like hanging out and playing music.

Ok, I'm done being all faggy.

Take Care,
Chris

This has nothing to do with anything...

2007-11-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

But seriously... DOUBLE-U-TEE-EFF!!!!

-dave

mixing

2007-10-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

we began mixing this weekend. during that time, brian drew some pictures.
dave

tim

chris

brian

mixing is done. we have one more day set up in a couple of weeks for any changes we think we might make.

yeah motha fucka.

columbia

2007-10-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

we played in columbia, missouri this saturday. a lot of things happened, i will try to sum it up.

heres some highlights:
-i broke the same string on both guitars and we had to cut a song because of it. i felt bad.
-during our soundcheck the PA went out and we were scared we wouldnt even play. luckily, AJ is a smart guy, and he fixed it right up.
-it was extremely windy outside. after our set, i was trying to smoke weed in the back, crouched down between two cars while an exgirlfriend laughed at my attempts to do drugs. i did em though, and felt good.
-tim got drunk and lost his pants somewhere along highway 70.
-dave got drunk and yelled at us in a loving way.
-chris drank alot and bumped into a hot chick and we all cheered.
-i helped the door guy break up a fight between a hobo and a bro.
-femme fatality brought a lot of "sluts" to the show, so....yeah. there were sluts. they looked good.
-chris punched a baby.

in more important news,

THE RECORD IS DONE!!!
we begin mixing next weekend.

hooray!

holly/pizza

2007-10-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

last night our friend holly came in and sang a bit here and there on some songs, and let me say, she made our c.d. sound really great. she was really good at singing, much better than any of us.

that means that the last day of recording is friday! i have to do vocals for "the sailin' song" and some touch ups here and there, then we will be done! we start mixing next weekend, which will be long and boring, but thats part of the process.

i want to be seriouse for a second, and say that peter has done a great job. i know im SUPPOSED to say that, but seriously, our record sounds the way it does because of peter. he had a lot of great ideas, and he pushed us in the right direction. he is definintly part of the band now, at least it feels like it. his hospitality is unmatched, his professionalism is uncanny, and his hand jobs are second to none. he really did do a great job. even though im completely sick of these songs, and seeing peters face makes me want to stab the eyes of the elderly, i still had a lot of fun in there recording, and drawing dicks on the wall.

we will have some pictures up soon, once tim uploads them.

after recording last night, me and tim ate an XL pizza from pointers in 8 to 10 minutes while we watched planet terror. we did pretty good. were practicing for the pointersaurus. which is fucking big. i told tim to smoke a lot of weed before he does it, because thats what i did, and i finished my half way before him. some people are professional, some aint.

bye.
-brian

chris schott is a robott

2007-10-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

Chris finished ALL of his vocals last night. which means we are 98% done with this record!

*throws confetti*

the only stuff we have left is on weds, holly is doing her vocals, and friday, i am finishing my vocals. we also got "a christmas song for jenny" done! its all mixed and ready for the comp! hooray!

*wears party hat*

also, last night while chris was singing his black heart out, i was out back getting ready to light a refreshing and healthy cigarette when i heard 4 gun shots. i thought maybe i had imagined it, but then when i went inside, i aksed if anyone heard it, and peter did. next, we did what any reasonable, law following american would do. we got our tech nines, our machine guns, and our colt 45's and went out for justice.

it was a chilly night on the streets of st. louis, a little........TOO chilly. we were walking down Wyoming when we saw them. 5 kids, all about the age of 12 or 14, standing around, TALKING. we knew it was them, it had to be! thos kids were packin' and we fucking knew it! before you could say, "i once had sex with a wall" peter opened fire.

the shots rang out through the dirty streets of south city as round after round was emptied. the kids tried to run, but they couldnt get away from him. he was like one of the three amigos, except, not mexican....and not a comedy star. after peter stopped, chris threw a hand grenade that killed 8 civilians. but in the words of chris schott, "civilian is slang for moving target."

after the smoke cleared from the 4 grenades chris threw, i found some kids hiding in the bushes. after slicing each of their throats until their heads slipped off like a small dick in a hookers snatch, i put their bodies in bags. (trash bags of course, im not max millionare here).

after desposing of the bodies, and making sure the streets were safe again, we headed back inside to finish recording the duet "tea and honey".

later that night, as me and chris were leaving, we noticed some MORE kids standing on the corner getting groceries from their car. we knew THEY too were up to something, so we ran over them with chris' car. one of the kids was dragged all the way to Grand Blvd. Thankfully when we got him loose from the front bumper, (and the back bumper) he was already dead.

theres no need to thank us for keeping the streets clean. but all in all,

..it was a great night for recording.

Awwwww yeaaaaah

2007-10-15T07:26:00.001-07:00

We played our first show as a four piece this past weekend. I gotta say, I think it went pretty well. The Milton School House is hauuuunteddddd and there is a ghost museum on the other end of the venue. Pretty awesome stuff. But all the folks there were nice and we played to probably the 15 nicest people in Alton. They were a lot of fun.

On a more "relevant to this blog" note, we are finishing the vocals this week on our cd, which is a concept album called The Orchard. Yeah, we're totally artsy like that. After this week, we'll be in the thick of the mixing process.

We've been coming up with some bitchin' packaging ideas for the album too. Can you say smeared with poop?

Tonight we are finishing our Christmas song for the up coming A Very Bert Dax Christmas compilation, a St. Louis music tradition we are really proud to be a part of. Our song, of course, is gross and probably will do nothing but make people vomit up their egg nog. Cooooooooool.

--Chris

telecasters/musicians friend/young kids

2007-10-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

So recording has come to a stand still at the moment. we finish the rest of this thing next week. we have three days left. that gives us plenty of time to do the little we have left.

in other, band related news, i got a fender telecaster a couple of weeks ago. i just played it for the first time this weekend because my amp was in Tims van since our last show. anyway, i love it. i really wish i wouldve gotten it ON TIME, because i really wanted to record with it. why didnt i get it on time? heres the reason:

1. i ordered it from musicians friend, my first mistake.
2. after it didnt show up on time, the first time, my dad called them to see what was up. (this was a birthday present from my parents) they said they "couldnt find it" because they switched warehouses and it should take a couple more days.
3. after it didnt show up, AGAIN, when they said, my dad called them, AGAIN, and this time they said, "it wouldnt be avaliable until november." NOVEMBER?!?! WTF??
4. my dad cancled the order, basically told them to fuck themselves and their musician friends.
5. he finds the exact same guitar at a place called eldery music out of Lansing, MI. not only did they send it to me on time, (two days after my dad called them), but the shipping was free.

this is the second time musicians friend has fucked something up. a year ago, i bought my epiphone sheriton, and THAT was two weeks late. all i ever hear about musicians friend, are bad things. i dont think ive ever met someone who hasnt had a problem with them. i will never use musicians friend for anything ever again. they could really give two shits about their customers.

but anyway, the telecaster sounds awesome. i know it, my roommate knows it, the nieghbors know it....it sounds good. really loud. in my living room. It definently blocks out the sounds of my nieghbors banging on my floor. ah....the sweet sounds of rock and roll.

speaking of rock and roll, our first show without lisa is this saturday in alton, IL. this should be fun. like, for real. im excited to play in a "haunted" school house. anyway, heres the flyer for the show:

as you can see, were playing with a couple of good bands. this will be the first show where the oldest people there, are all in the same band. ours.

thats all im going to write about today. its early, im tired, and at work. sorry for all the typos.

-brian

2007-10-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

This blog is turning more and more into this everyday. Oh, and if somebody has a rich uncle who wants to finance our record, that would be sweet.

-Dizzle

sad news

2007-10-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

Lisa Kelly, has quit The Wooden Kites Brigade, which sucks. there are no hard feelings at all though. yeah yeah, i know bands always say, "there are no hard feelings" but, in this case, it is 100% true. No one is mad. Were bummed out, but with some booze, some motherly advice, and a movie night, we will all be ok.

Lisa played the saw very well. The saw is sharp, metal, and.....fucking sharp. It was cool, and its sad that we will no longer have the whispering sounds of the singing saw bellowing through our forest of melodies. but, dont be too upset. Lisa is in another band!

http://www.myspace.com/mahtpa. Just follow that link. Shes been playing with Mahtpa for a while now, and we love mahtpa. and you should too.

we dont know if lisa is going to play a last show with us, but if she does, we will let you know.

in all honesty, this band wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for Lisa. She did a lot for this band, and its sad to see her go.

-wk

recording is not fun.

2007-10-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

recording is not fun.
despite what you may hear from other people, recording, is definitly, NOT fun....at least till its done. recording is hectic, frantic, and jazz tastic, all in one.

with that positive note, i will say this:

RECORDING IS ALMOST DONE!

what do we have left you ask?
-i have to sing one more song. and maybe a chorus in another.
-i have one 15 second acoustic track to lay down. we completely forgot about it.
-lisa has to do saw and vocals.
-chris has to do vocals and xylophone
-dave, tim, me, lisa, chris and random friends have to do the group vocals.

we have three days left, and plan on getting all of this done, on time. *crosses fingers*
now that we are nearing the end, the final tracklist for the orchard will have 11 songs. we have no idea when it will be ready to listen to. mixing takes a while, and so does mastering, plus getting artwork takes time etc. etc.
so, were looking at early 08'.

you might be asking yourself, "but brian, what about myspace? when can we listen to some songs on myspace?" well, the awnser to that question is: i dont know.

myspace is not the priority of this band.
rockin', fuckin', recordin', and drinkin' are our top four concerns at the moment.

in all honesty, the first actually recording you will hear from us will be on this years bert dax christmas album. so if youre really that interested in hearing us, pick that up.

we will probably have some new photos up pretty soon. not photos of us, but photos of naked men and women. we figured you be more interested in this blog if it was full of boobies and weiners.

-brian

Well worth reading...

2007-09-29T12:26:00.001-07:00

So this is my first post on here. We haven't been in the studio for awhile now (we waaaay overestimated ourselves) so now we have to find time between our own schedules, Pete's schedule, and the other band that is now recording's schedule. I'm starting to think the Wooden Kites album will be made without the saw on it. It's been so long, I'm staring to forget the songs! But I don't really want to talk about music, I'll let the boys do that. I want to talk about other things, like I got some really great pictures, which I was totally made fun of for not using a fancy schmancy digital camera, but one of the archaic 35mm cameras (They take good pictures!). Those will be posted soon. Let's see, I also played the motherly role of cooking for everyone, and by cooking I mean bbqing hotdogs in the backyard. Everyone missed it, but I made a giant fireball while using the lighter fluid a little too liberally. Amazing.
A couple things I'm looking forward to:

-Show in Alton, Il at a (Haunted) school house. Spooky things will happen and possibly some gambling at the Alton Belle Casino (which is most likely haunted).

-Show in Columbia, MO at some place I can't pronounce (fugue??). I just like taking mini road trips with smelly dudes.

-And finally, maybe actually recording something will be pretty sweet too.

Last thing I want to say is that I noticed our profile said our occupation is drunks, but I believe that only applies to me and Dave because we are champs.
bye bye,
lisa lynn

2007-09-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, so i have some free time at the moment. And, I also have that awful gear nerd gene inside of me so i thought i would give a rundown of gear that was used on the record. Since most of the instrumental stuff is done (saws excluded).

Guitars:
-Epiphone Sheraton
-Washburn Electric-Acoustic (Model Unknown)
-Fender Acoustic (Model Unknown)
-Ventura 12 String Acoustic (Model Unknown)
-Cigar Box Slide Guitar
-Fender P-Bass Deluxe Series

Amps:
-Fender Twin Reverb
-Marshall JCM 800 Head
-Peavey 4-12 Cab (Model Unknown)
-Hartke HA3500 Bass Head
-Kustom 18 Cabinet (until it died)
-Hartke Transporter 4-10 Cab

Keyboards:
-Casio Privia Digital Piano
-Korg Microkorg
-Farfisa Mini-Compact Electric Organ
-Casio Casiotone MT-200

Effects:
-Korg KP-2 Kaoss Pad
-Electro Harmonix Memory Man Reverb/Delay
-Ibanez Tube Screamer

Drum/Percussion:
-Pearl (Session Series?) Kit
-Cymbals Unknown
-LP Tamborine and Shakers
-Jingle Bell Stick (Make and Model Unknown)

Stuff that was around and that I personally wish we could've used, but didn't due to time and other stuff:
-Moog Micromoog Synthesizer= I didn't mess with this thing until we had already finished the keyboard stuff. And once i started to realize what each knob did, i proceeded to mentally punch myself in the face for not taking the initiative to mess with it earlier. Truly, a quality instrument.
-MXR Blue Box (Fuzz/Octave Pedal)= I have no idea what we would've done with this thing. As i can not really think of any spot where it would've been appropriate. But, strange sounds come out of these pedals. It would've been sweet to have it on there, just for a second or two.
-Congas (Make and Model Unknown)= These guys make references in their blog to trying to acheive that "Remain in Light"-era multilayered percussion sound. I would've loved to try something like that. But, ultimately it wouldn't have fit.
-Univox Compac 2 Electric Piano= This is basically and old late seventies analog piano (which sounds nothing like a piano). But, this has a built in phaser. I had an idea on where to use this thing. But, forgot about it when it came time to finish up synth stuff. Oh also, this guy used to endorse these things. 2 points in my book.

Dave

visual aids part two

2007-09-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

hey look! visual evidence that lisa IS in the band! here she is recording some....wait...fixing a camera. sweet.

we tried out a lot of different amps. we found two that everyone liked. we used them both...AT THE SAME TIME.

peter messes with a shitload of pedals to find the right sound.

peter sits and listens to sounds.

brian records some sounds through the guitar.

things are getting to where things should be. heres a quick over view.

things that are done:
-bass
-piano
-drums
-electric/acoustic guitars
-slide guitar
-percussion
-synths
-chaos pad
-6 songs with vocals

things that need to be done:
-the singing saw
-vocals on the rest of the songs.

so there you have it. were getting pretty close to finishing the record.

Brian talks about recording guitar tonight, men

2007-09-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

2007-09-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

A few notes from last night.

-I finished up the remainder of the synth parts.

-After determining that the guitar sounds weren't right we're going to redo most of them using some different amps. Hopefully we can get it right on friday.

-Chris continued to do more of these...

-Tonight Tim and I are going to see Wilco and Dr. Dog. I'm pretty psyched.

Dave

visual documentation

2007-09-19T06:36:00.000-07:00

this is the kitchen where we eat our food. behind that yellow door is where we bbq'd our food.
peter and brian get ready to record an album.

these guys are playing instruments and keeping an audio document of sounds.

after some complications, we had to tear apart daves bass amp and do weird, nasty things to it.

during a break, shagy got some well needed sleep.

after hours upon hours, peter finally started to realize why our friends hate us.

chris records some piano while dave dances a jig.

this amp was used to put out sounds from a guitar.

dave used these keys to make sounds.

dave uses a slide guitar made out of a cigar box. thanks mark!

the boys wonder where the hell lisa is and why isnt she in any of these pictures?

we wrote things on the wall.

recording is nearing completion. we still have to do some guitars, the singing saw, and vocals. we will have a lot more pictures within the next couple days so keep checkin your favorite blog!!!

The Art of the Kung Fu Fart

2007-09-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

As pointed out in a previous blog, I, Chris, have been trying to master the art of the kung fu fart.

It seems like it would be simple, but allow me to enlighten you to the process, keeping in mind this is something I have yet to fully accomplish.

Step One: You need to have to fart. If you don't need to fart, wait. When you finally do, your full potential will be realized.

Step Two: Take a stance. You may pick from the many styles. Find one that suits you best. Crouching Ass, Hidden Thunder is my favorite. Here are some others (not a complete list by any means):

-Ninja Boom
-Shao Lin Squirt
-Wong Lui Butt Clap
-The Dutch Oven of Doom (sneak attacks only)
-The Locust...who farts
-Slient But Deadly, The Way of the Shart

Step Three: Make sure your point of release is both devastating and at maximum force. For example, release the fart at the end of a punch, or mid air during a jump kick. This will both destory your opponent, and cause them great humiliation.

Step Four: Revel in your own glory.

We will hopefully have video and pictures of the art of kung fu farting soon.

Oh...and recording is going great too.

--Chris

dave todd is my hero.

2007-09-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

dave pretty much sumed everything up below this post. he failed to mention these important notes though:

-chris had a series of amazing karate farts.
-tim brought some awesome apple stroodle pop tarts.
-i swore off acoustic guitars for the rest of my life on sunday around 2 oclock.
-lisa is the only person in the band that can properly barbque.

we have till next sunday to finish this damn thing. we will have a bunch of pictures posted tomorrow.

and we decided the album is called "The Orchard". you love it.

on a side note, im extremly fucking tired.

-brian

2007-09-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

So this weekend recording started...

To basically sum it up, 100% of bass, drums, and piano are finished. 99% of the sy nth stuff is done. And a good chunk of guitars (50% perhaps) are finished.

Now on to the important stuff.

-Peter has been FAR more accomodating to us than any person in their right mind should be.
-Sweet barbecue has become my main inspiration for playing music.
-There were far too many references to these guys. And i fear those bad vibes will totally ruin the record.
-Sweat bands make everything sound better.
-We used a guitar made from a cigar box on one song. Personal highlight of the whole weekend.

Hopefully someone else can make this more interesting than i did.

Dave

the date is almost here.

2007-08-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

as we draw closer to recording time, things can get hectic. but, luckily for us, this ship is saling through pretty smooth waters. we played a couple of awesome shows this week and had a totally rad time. we worked out a few kinks here and there, and are now ready to concentrate on recording. (since our next show isnt until september 25th).

songs.
here is a list of songs that we are planning on recording. some of the names are tentative, but we will see how things go. they are also not in any specific order.

1. when the rain came
2. dirt road
3. our secret in the orchard
4. suicide weather
5. bumble
6. sailin' song
7. hey jefferson
8. you and me and the bottle makes three
9. tea and honey
10. the atlantic death march (the ballad of nikki avery)
11. john o'neills nights run long
12. the wind
13. a letter from miranda
14. a christmas song for jenny

we will probably choose 11 or 12 tracks for the full length, and keep the leftover ones for other things that may rise up in the future.

that is all for now. september 15th will be here before we know it, which means, interesting posts! yay! also, the other people in this band are going to share blogging duties, so this will probably get interesting once they start posting.

-brian

2007-08-01T09:27:00.000-07:00

hello all,
we begin recording our first, as yet untitled album here on September 15th.

we are very excited.

plenty more to come soon.

-brian